Overcoming: Character Flaws We Picked Up From Childhood Trauma


Yup, your girl was having a conversation and smack dab in mid-sentence heard “you’re being manipulative”. Of course,  like any normal person would; I slowly looked around the room like who me God? Your favorite child no. (Jk Jk)  Let me tell you only God can interrupt you mid-sentence to correct you without leaving condemnation on you.    

While I would love to say I picked this bad habit up last week and I’m stopping this week it’s not quite that simple. I’ve used this analogy many times in different post but it always seems to have relevance.  When we are in a war we tend to carry weapons because we never know when we will have to use them. But if we are not careful we will still carry those weapons into places where there’s no war.  Manipulation was my choice of weapon in the war of Sexual Abuse. I learned too quickly if I said what the person who abused me wanted to hear at times I could avoid nights of stolen innocence or perhaps have some control over the person who abused me. Once I mastered how to steer the wheel of manipulation I begin to use it in different venues such as work, school, relationships, pretty much anything.  The only issue was I left the war  14 years ago but here  I am hearing God remind me of a weapon I haven’t surrendered.  As God shows me this about myself I asked him how am I going to change when I’ve been doing this for so many years. I came across this scripture

 “ Ephesians 4:22-26. 

22 You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; 23 to be made new in the attitude of your minds; 24 and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.25 Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. 

When we put off the old self we pick up the identity of our father Jesus Christ. We don’t have to FEAR anymore because God is LOVE and his love requires no fear. Our father loves helps our character flaws fall off. We become dressed in the ways of Christ.  So maybe your thinking man being abused really jacked me and created all these bad behaviors. But friend please trust the lord with his promises of healing. The healing is for everything that has left an impact on us. So many of us are walking around wounded without even knowing. So maybe you’re thinking about what is the first thing I can do. This is just my opinion but; when God showed me those flaws I repented.  Because whether I want to hear it or not I made the choice of being manipulative and I take ownership of my mistakes. And once we repent we can change because God forgives us and he helps us to walk in new ways.  With true repentance comes forgiveness from God and him wiping our slates clean. 

Now we pray for strength and guidance so God can help us to put away those former behaviors. Those former thought patterns. We must be willing to do our best to make changes and be mindful of falling into the same behavior. Your not perfect you will make mistake but get up repent and keep going.  For me I’m constantly checking my motive, I’m praying and if I need something I’m learning to ask instead of trying to twist things to get my way.   Our past isn’t an excuse for us to stay broken. If anything our past should push us to want to make new opportunities for our selves and the generations to come. 

Can I pray with you friend?

Father thank you, for my friends reading this. Thank you, Lord, for the inspiration to even write this. Father, I ask that you give us a heart of true repentance to help us lord to acknowledge our sins and help us to put off the former things. Lord teach us your ways and guide us. Lord please cleanse and make us brand new. Father, we pray Ezekiel 36:25-27 over us. Lord let you will be done. And heal us from every bad character flaw we have picked up from abuse or any other life issue. Father, we thank you for everything you have done in our lives and what you continue to do in Jesus’ name AMEN.

If you haven’t accepted Jesus in your heart and you would like to, here’s a prayer you can pray and get connected to a local church.

 Lord Jesus, for too long I’ve kept you out of my life. I know that I am a sinner and that I cannot save myself. No longer will I close the door when I hear you knocking. By faith, I gratefully receive your gift of salvation. I am ready to trust you as my Lord and Savior. Thank you, Lord Jesus, for coming to earth. I believe you are the Son of God who died on the cross for my sins and rose from the dead on the third day. Thank you for bearing my sins and giving me the gift of eternal life. I believe your words are true. Come into my heart, Lord Jesus, and be my Savior. Amen. This prayer is from Dr.Ray Pritchard found



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s