No one really knew the battle just God and I. Working 9-5, churchgoing and showing up where I committed to. The outside saw no trace of backsliding. But for me rocky; would describe the last couple months. Bags under my eyes pulling overnighters. Watching “Not so reality TV”. It’s fair to say I was addicted y’all. I took one curious click on YouTube, and I led myself down a rabbit trail of never-ending show watching. Basketball Wives, Growing Up Hip Hop Atlanta, etc my eyes were glued. Not judging anyone who watches these shows, but once I surrender my life to God I did away with Junk TV and junk music. I intentionally made the decision to keep my eyes and heart on healthy things. But here I was watching women filled with anger, jealousy, and bitterness and finding joy and humor in it. Within a few episodes, I could see the shift of vocabulary, perception, and behavior. Jacked up I was. I even said to a woman who came off rude to me ” GIRL BYE” you know with that sassy tone. And placed my hand over my face so I wouldn’t see her face. Totally not God’s Behavior for a woman who represents God.
It didn’t stop there I was inhaling junk food. Gaining over 20 pounds and that wasn’t even a wake-up call for me. Neither was cleaning out my purse to finding countless receipts for food. Each week I would make a promise to change and when the week came I would push it to another week. Many would say Desiree there’s nothing wrong with eating what you want but this was Gluttony at its best. I was out of control. I was eating to fill empty voids. I moved farther and farther from God because there was a part of me enjoying the overeating and junk watching. My thinking was I can’t go to God if I don’t want to change. But we even can go to God when we don’t want to change. One day I broke down and I ask God to place the desire in me to change; because I didn’t have it. And day by day I would begin praying and worshiping and those desires began falling off me. I ask God for self-control so when the temptations came I could resit. When the new episodes would air I refrain from clicking. When I saw a fast food place I would walk past. And yes I had some slips up. But Gods Grace I was reminded of when I did.
Maybe you’re like me dealing with things you kind of like doing, but you know God isn’t pleased. Or you just don’t know how to get out of the sin you’re deeply wrapped in. God is waiting for you to talk to him. God is such a great father he will be with you. I wish I would have come to God sooner I wasted so much time. Gods Mercy and his Grace is sufficient. God has been drawing me back and it feels good to be back home. I love 1 John 5:1 Go read it.
Thanks for reading Treasures. God loves you more than anyone don’t forget it.
If you haven’t accepted Jesus in your heart and you would like to, here’s a prayer you can pray and get connected to a local church.
Lord Jesus, for too long I’ve kept you out of my life.I know that I am a sinner and that I cannot save myself. No longer will I close the door when I hear you knocking. By faith, I gratefully receive your gift of salvation. I am ready to trust you as my Lord and Savior. Thank you, Lord Jesus, for coming to earth. I believe you are the Son of God who died on the cross for my sins and rose from the dead on the third day. Thank you for bearing my sins and giving me the gift of eternal life. I believe your words are true. Come into my heart, Lord Jesus, and be my Savior. Amen. This prayer is from Dr.Ray Pritchard found