It was’nt until we began planning our wedding that I realized there were things inside of me that I had to take care before we started our new journey. I somehow encountered the fact that I was going to shortly be moving in with someone I’ve never lived with, and this commitment was a “forever thing” at least, that was my mindset. I choose to believe every woman goes into a marriage declaring “until death do us apart”. The following things helped me understand what was right for me and made me comprehend that I would be ok in spite of all the failed, broken, abusive, and dysfunctional relationships I witnessed as a young girl. The following are some things I experienced before getting married so that I remained sane enough to share my life with someone. By no means did this make me perfect, I am still learning how to adequately heal from being an emotional wreck at times. To the present today, I am still hiding away with God so that I can be reminded where God brought me out of and how I can be a good spouse, mother, sister, friend, pastor etc.
Trust – you will need to completely surrender and trust in God wholeheartedly.
This is not at something that can be established in one day. There are things in your life that will make you put this into practice. You will have to identify you are in this process and exercise your faith, unconditional faith that allows us to grown in God daily.
- Honesty I needed to make sure that I was honest with God; in him, I was able to find refuge and strength. Psalm 91:2 “I will say to the LORD, “My refuge and my fortress, My God, in whom I trust!” to be completely honest God was the only person I trust. When I dated my husband, I was in a terrible state of mind. I was an emotional wreck. Research have shown studies that when your caregivers reject you or is unresponsive to your needs, you tend to develop insecurity, hide your feelings, and may even push people away. It was then that I saw the need to deepen my relationship with God. I did not want to be like this anymore! I needed to make sure that I was sensitive to hearing God’s voice. He was the only one at the time that I felt I could rely on. I dealt with depression for a long period. I know it was God holding me together because as I dated him I was still figuring out how to put my life pieces together. I then learned that one of the most important things that my husband and I established is that we both trusted God more than we did each other. It always made me get the sense that God blessed me with him and if he feared God as much as I did, we would be ok. Even on our “tough” times because let us be realistic we are not perfect, but we are pretty close to it under God PERFECT love.
- Journaling – This always seem to have gotten me into trouble when my mother decided to one day pick up my journal and read it. Somehow, during my young years establish a habit to write my feelings down. It tend to help me feel like I was venting to someone in the universe. Of course, when I found God my letters became prayers. Nonetheless, I wrote a lot. I still encountered fears; I still did not know what would happen to me if things did not work out, because at times I allowed my flesh to take over. I then decided to write them down hoping that God would read them, because not only was I still an emotional wrecked person, but also I was a terrible communicator. One of my blog post I talk about how I battled through being intimidated. (you may read it it’s awesome in my opinion)
- Building a Prayer Life: You need to establish the fact that you are going to be completely honest to God as you write. You should also keep in mind that writing exposes you to anyone who encounters that book. I would then consider establishing a consistent prayer life. (btw this should be a must anyway) Personally, I never mind anyone reading my book, hence why I created my blog. I got to a point in my life where I hope to be as transparent as possible if it is going to bless, encourage, or help anyone else in this world through my writings.
- Forgiveness: had so many things in my life I needed to let go off and forgive. This was not an easy process for me at all, because I was introduced to pornography as a young teen through someone close to me at that time. I developed hatred towards that person and everyone else at the time who did not believe me, especially the person who birthed me. Whether she had her reasons or not I still needed to feel important enough to have a conversation with me. I needed an explanation as to why I needed this in my life as a teenager. I can go on about this but the most important thing I would like to leave you with is that FORGIVENESS is ESSENTIAL. Absolutely, the most important thing you must do is forgive yourself for thinking that you could have provoked this in any way or anyone around you, simply due to ignorance. At least that is what I am going to choose to believe. Forgiveness is difficult in itself but I chose to lay my entire burden on to God during a retreat and never look, think, or talk about it. It was by far the most liberating experience in my life. Matthew 11:28-30 “Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”
- Fellowship:I met a couple at church who laid things to me raw, but one of the things that stood out to me the most was the following “always kiss him goodnight” it sounds like a cliché saying but trust me when I tell you it definitely has saved me from allowing bitterness and resentment to grow in my heart. I have done this even on some of the hardest night and seasons of our Marriage. Something about “LOVE conquers all things” that really makes it all possible because God is love and so are we if we carry him inside of us. Ephesians 4:26 “Don’t get so angry that you sin. Don’t go to bed angry”
I pray this can encourage you to LOVE, I pray this encourages you to open your heart up to the wonderful things God may have in store for your life. You do not need to be perfect! The beauty and essence of God is working out your imperfections under his PERFECT LOVE! God is love, I found my perfect Love in GOD
Massiel is the blogger behind Hello Massiel. She is a mother of two beautiful daughters who keep her laughing and on the go. She also pastors with her husband they both enjoy serving the community. To read more of her blog click here.
If you haven’t accepted Jesus in your heart and you would like to, here’s a prayer you can pray and get connected to a local church.
Lord Jesus, for too long I’ve kept you out of my life.I know that I am a sinner and that I cannot save myself. No longer will I close the door when I hear you knocking. By faith, I gratefully receive your gift of salvation. I am ready to trust you as my Lord and Savior. Thank you, Lord Jesus, for coming to earth. I believe you are the Son of God who died on the cross for my sins and rose from the dead on the third day. Thank you for bearing my sins and giving me the gift of eternal life. I believe your words are true. Come into my heart, Lord Jesus, and be my Savior. Amen. This prayer is from Dr.Ray Pritchard found