God has a way repurposing our mistakes to make something amazing. So here it goes I was a “BAD FRIEND”. Maybe the title alone brought you to read this post. Or maybe your like me made mistakes and hurt people you deeply love. Here some tips I learned on how to move forward and how to get out of bed after you have messed up:
Things will not be the same: I believe in miracles! God can do anything but when we hurt people we love we can’t expect things just to go back to the way they use to be. We have to understand our absences and hurt has caused a shift. But don’t lose hope God can reconnect you someday and give you something greater than what existed. Don’t be dismayed!
Sometimes things just can’t be : We have to be open to understanding the relationship may be over. Sometimes the lord just needs both hurting people to grow and mature in different areas. Like Abraham and lot, they both had different journeys the lord needed to take them on.
Separation doesnt have to be Bad: Like Abraham and lot the Land couldn’t support both Abhrama and Lot while they stayed together. Sometimes separation is needed in order to grow and for us to flourish in what God has called us to do. I know for me in previous friendships I was so focused on being apart and battling rejection. I totally lose sight of why God placed me with the awesome people he did.One tip I will share about separation is it’s important to do this with love. And to not hurt people when God tells you to let go. I’ve learned from my wrong mistakes everything God asks us to do can be done in love. It does have to be nasty and mean.
Repent to God: A lot of times we think the first person we are to apologize to is the person we hurt. But in reality its God we need to apologize to first. Our fathers biggest dream is to see his children as one body not hurting one another. He doesn’t like when we are against one another or we have bad or ill intentions against. Repent and ask your father forgiveness
Ask God for guidance: Seek God for wisdom on how to approach the situations. Sometimes we do things out of emotion which leads to further damage and hurt. Ask God what to do. Ask God what is the purpose he placed you together with those friends. God is very intentional.
Heal: Moment of truth if you are hurting others you are hurting deep inside . Hand your hurt over! Give that hurt to God allow him to heal your heart. I hurt people I deeply love because I was envious, angry, bitter, competitive, depressed, and much more. I also hurt people because I was carrying my past around . I didn’t know how to communicate effectively. I allowed things to build and harbor in me. This built resentment and hate. Sometimes we are so desperate to be loved we hold on for dear life hoping to never hurt again but we end of hurting the ones we love.
Stay bringing your past with: All of those previous hurts you have to to let it go. So many times I was living in the past a friend could say something as simple as I need apace to breathe and I would hear don’t ever come back why because I was living in the past. Don’t mess up future relationship dealing with the past. Let that crap go.
Learn your From your mistakes: the greatest things you can do when you have hurt people you love. Get alone with God seek his face and ask him to tell How you can be a better friend or how you can love him better. How we treat others is ultimately how we see and treat God. Don’t do the same thing over. Trust me God will give you the opportunity to be in a relationship and do the right things. But if you don’t learn from your mistakes you will create the same cycle. This is a mistake I refuse to make again
Deal with the orphan spirit: if you never been parented it is mostly you are battling with the orphan spirit. This spirit never allows you to be content, feel loved, or apart so even when you are around good people that truly love you can’t revive anything. It also doesn’t allow you to see God has your father. Do your research on the Orphan spirit and sonship.
Have open communication be up front !! I can’t stress this enough. Say what needs to be said. Don’t hold it in .
Don’t condemn yourself. Yes, you hurt someone you loved very dearly but the lord doesn’t want to beat yourself up and to not move forward. God will heal both of your hearts. God wants you to know you are healed in the name of Jesus and so are there.
Welcome Correction: God loves you and his correction is real. Welcome his teaching moments God says because he loves his children he will disciple them.
Get in the Word: I didn’t know how to be a good friend I would try to read many books about how to be a good friend when all along I could have been reading the greatest book that teaches about relationship Guys get into the bible God teaches so much about relationships and he gives so many different examples. Just take the time and get into the word of God.
Don’t be Afraid: Any test we fail we will have to take over .. Don’t be afraid if and when God begins to place people in your life that you’re going to mess up. Ask God for guidance and he will help you to be a great friend. Don’t shy away from people wanting to be in your life.
Right Time: If God ordains for you to speak the person be honest . Or maybe write a letter to the person but seek God first don’t want to do things out of emotions. Allow God to confirm. Sometimes God will have you write a letter out of just to get the emotions out but not send it to the person.
Relationships are an investment: A lot of times when we think of investment we think of money. But there are so many different elements of investment such as time, wisdom, being vulnerable, honest, sincere, developing with the person. We have to be able to pour into friends. We just can’t take take take. But we have to be willing to give our ourselves. An area where I failed in this I always thought my friends were smarter and I never shared the things I learned. I just allowed them to pour into me and I kept my wisdom for myself. But a relationship is not a dictatorship it’s about everyone coming to the table with a full basket ready, ready to pour out.
Can I pray for you?
Father, I thank you for the life reading this.Father, II bind the spirit of condemnation for any person who had made hurtful mistakes in friendships. In the name of Jesus we silent every voice of the enemy, that reminds them of their past. Father, I declare wisdom in the area of relationships. Father, we declare a new mindset for kingdom relationship., Father we ask that you wash away old ways of building relationships. Father, I declare the person we have hurt you mend their broken hurt. Father, I declare you give them unspeakable joy and peace. Father any spirit of revenge we bind it in the name of Jesus and speak forgiveness. We speak love in the name of Jesus. Father, we declare you place great people around them. Father, I thank you for your love and support. Father I declare in the name of Jesus the treasures reading this will have discernment in their friendship and how they love on people and build relationships Father God I thank you for everything you have done. I thank you for we lack nothing because everything is found in you. Thank you for your never-ending love. In Jesus name Amen.
You are not forgotten you are loved way more than you know by Jesus.