Breaking Down Stone Cold Walls

New York City building lights are beautiful but when you live in an gated community called   I’ll never let anyone hurt me again”   its hard to see anything hopeful.  Trust me this isn’t a sappy post but an exciting one because I’m sharing  about  moving to a new place in my life called” ” No barriers No Limits, No Walls” Although I’m new to the block  I know God’s plans are MEGA!!image

When I was 7 years I decreed  with eyes full of tears I would never allow anyone to hurt me again! This sounds normal to say after a childhood of abuse but its not NORMAL. In life we are going to experiences hurt and trials. Its one of the ways we learn,  build character and accelerate. The only way to never  get hurt again is to remain STAGNATE!!!!. God moves from glory to glory.

When we try to be the gate keeper of our lives we end of opening the door for people God never  appointed  and we slam the door on the people who are assigned in our lives

So lets talk about it. The ” I will never let anyone hurt  me again” mentality places us as victims. If we are always on guard we are living in fear and we are selfish. We are focused only on our protection and we fail to care about others. You know the quote hurt people hurt people well we become those people . Most of the time imagewithout even knowing  were doing it. Ouch! but its the truth. I have hurt very special people having this mentality. My relationships were  robotic. My “I loves you’s” were like a robot repeating a human command and my hugs were timed. I was emotionally disconnected and disengaged I pushed people away and kept loved ones at armed distance. I gave 100% of me.  In my head I made myself to be this sweet kind, perfect person, soft tone  but that wasn’t the case. I was  disengaged, cold and unapproachable.  Sabotaging  relationships was second nature for me.  I made stories in my head of people so I could justify distancing myself from their love.

When God begin to reveal this to me at first I was crushed. Knowing you hurt people you love hurts.  God comforted me with love, grace and correction. And  gave me the conviction to empower and shift my mindset and behavior. I know a lot of kids in Foster Care experience this because love for most of them is a foreign language .  Sin and abuse  pollute our character and minds. God 10371625_1544172815801256_3503621529059711945_nwants to clean us.  When we carry the mentality we become our own protectors instead of God.  All through out the bible God reminds us he is our refuge, shield, protector, advocate and so much more. Our every day relationships reflects our relationship with God.  If we are disengaged with others we are the same with God. God wants to deliver you and set you free. Seek God. Pray , Fast, Study the word worship. Seeking God isn’t boring I remember one of the ways I  would spend time with God is going to the park taking pictures and talking with him. Make it fun.

 

God Bless You Treasures. God you are not forgotten.

-Desiree

** Disclaimer I’m not perfect but I’m in my process and I’m not running away. I make mistake I cry to God and I get back up.

 

 

 

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