Foster Care: When Going Back Home Isn’t an Option


Within a matter of seconds, my life changed when I entered Foster Care. It was kind of like being put on a TV show given your lines right as they said ” Were Live” no time for rehearsal.  I went from being a cute little annoying sister to a big sister overnight. My new responsibilities included giving advice and wiping tears from broken promises of parents saying they would visit and canceled.

Some memories still resonate of being a big sister like hearing sweet whispers of prayers from my new little siblings saying ” Dear God can I be back home with Mommy and daddy please amen”.  I remember many nights I would detour their crying by pretending we were on a tropical island. We ate the best foods and floated in Crystal clear water with colorful fish.  Before you knew it the room was filled with snoring.  As they were sleeping I was awakened by my own wounds.. My situation was a little different than my siblings. Their parents made some mistakes but loved them and fought for reunification.

My parents made mistakes but felt I had broken the family rule of “what happens in the house stays in the house” and felt I dishonor the family by exposing what was really taking place inside of our not so perfect home.  I remember vividly hearing one of my parents say to the Child Protective Service worker ” She’s

yours now you deal with her”  then proceeded to decline to visit me.  Although, at the time I didn’t want to visit them the rejection still left a sting.  Those words pierced me more than I cared to admit at the time.  Those words replayed during really special moments of my life when looking into the audience to seeing no love ones.  No one eyes filled with pride that their daughter was honored at the White House as a champion of change. Watching my siblings each return home was always bittersweet.

Dear young person not going back home,

I want you to know God has a plan for you, you’re not forgotten you are loved. And things in the natural may look like its falling apart but trust me God is with you and for you.  A few years ago I thought I would be all alone but God made a way. He showed me his love in so many different ways. This inst the end my friend. Below are some promises from God I want you to hold on too.

God sets the lonely in families …. Psalm 68:6 NIV

When my parents wash their hands with me I thought no one would ever want me or would want me to be apart of their family.  BUT GOD has this beautiful verse in the bible that he truly lives up to. God places the lonely in families.  God has assigned and place people on this earth to love you unconditionally. I have truly seen this time after time. For myself. Now I have so much family I’m overwhelmed by the love and invitations. Don’t let your pain keep you away from the promises of God.

 My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me And I give unto them eternal life, and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand. John 10:27-28 

Learn who God is for yourself: When I listen to a lot of kids in foster care they share about how they lived with someone who was a Christian and had a bad experience.  Having a bad experience with a christian doesn’t make God like who the person was. Don’t miss out on knowing God because of bad experiences. Have you ever heard something bad about someone  but you give the person a try an their awesome. You will have this experience with God get to know him for yourself.

Though my father and mother forsake me, the LORD will receive me. Psalm 27:10

As someone who has been in foster care this scripture has mended my broken heart many times when I have felt alone and forgotten. There are just some wounds only God can heal and the brokenness that comes with rejection from your parents in one of them.

Love you Treasures,

Know you are love you are never forgotten loved more than you ever know. 

To read more about my story check out this post Purity after Sexual Abuse

P.S Those of you who work in the foster care system  We are the key to freedom and when we don’t use that key we become an ingredient to captivity tell our kids about Jesus

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