Placing my hands up in surrender I whispered to the lord ” I surrender my reputation” As tears drop I knew this had a deeper meaning then what I could understand at the moment. A few months ago I remember a similar conversation with God but I was surrendering every relationship I put above God.When I surrendered I felt like a glass vase being dropped from the top of a staircase. God showed me those pieces needed to
fall in order to begin the process he had for me. As a person who is dying to the spirit of people pleasing loosing my reputation means that joy of people approving would no longer have a place. I would have to find my joy in the one true. This would start a journey of living life so intentionally I would only look for Jesus in the crowd to smile and say well done. Was I really ready for this? As I whispered those words to God I felt him saying where I’m taking you, you cant blend in.
So this brings me to the point of sharing with you a great experience I had July 19, 2017 This night my heart was impacted and layers of my reputation begin to peel. Every Wednesday I go to a House of Peace which is like a bible study just with a little more fire ( hehehe). I was struggling in my mind and didn’t want to go Staying home is great but when you are battling in your mind you need to be around people who are on fire for God. Isolation is one of the devils greatest tools. Sunday service my pastor shared something that really pushed me out the house. He said “the true sacrifice is not when your feeling good but when you don’t want to get up” I started walking to the bus stop and got half way there and realized I left my wallet UGH!. I had to make a decision was I going to stay home and say I tried or I was going to get my wallet and keep pressing forward. I got the wallet! As I was traveling I was getting really hungry. I heard the enemy all in my head saying you will just be a few minutes late get something to eat. The lord reminded me of something my pastor said a few months ago . ” If you are ready for the word of God you will come early” So I made no detours. Feeding our bodies is temporary but the word of God sustains us it nourish our bodies.
The lesson of the night was powerful. We talked about having compassion for the broken, moving in faith and boldness, and not conforming to the world. In addition it was about keeping your fire for God and increasing it. Going deeper in the things of God and understanding God has no limits. This word really pierced through my soul. As House of peace was wrapping up our mentors prayed over us and imparted the fire of God , passion for God and boldness and they broke off the spirit of fear and doubt off all of us.
This class really impacted me I left knowing God did something different in me. So after House of Peace a few of us walk to the bus together and we usually past by a group of people hanging out smoking and drinking. The lord showed me this would be a great opportunity to activate what was imparted into us. I raised my hand asked if anyone was in need of prayer and God took over from there. It was almost like he said daughter I just needed you to have faith I will do the rest. So one brave guy who happen to be the tallest said come on guys now we all need prayer! First we prayed for them as a whole and then we sat with whom ever the lord led us to and we prayed individually for them. It was the most beautiful experience ever. They shared intimate things with us such as stories of: sexual abuse, physical abuse, verbal, domestic violence from a mans perspective , addictions , and other hurtful things. We begin to encourage and the bind the spirit of UN-forgiveness and anything holding them back. I begin to realize the beautiful encounter that was taking place. I hugged everyone and I felt the love of God transferring to each person. As we did the work of God he was doing a work in us. T
Could you have imagine if the lord allowed me to have my way and stay home in my room soaking in self pity. Could you image the souls I would have missed. Some body needs to hear these words get up and fight and push through and make the choice you will not give up or give in. You will fight when you are tired. When the devil wants you all alone you will surround yourself with people on fire for God.
I love you all treasures you are not forgotten you are loved